The game continued 48. Rc1Ra3 49. Re4 Kf6? I completely missed Rxa2+. That tends to happen when you're in draw mode, but still expecting the worse to happen. 50. Re2 Ra6 51. g4 R3a5 52. Rec2Kg7 53. Rc6? Rxa2+ I don't miss Rxa2+ a second time. The game continues 54. Kb1 Ra1+ 55. Kb2R6a2+ 56. Kb3 Ra3+ to reach the following position.
He has 51 seconds left and I have 2:18 left. At this point he says "Okay I will take draw now." Okay tournament director wannabes, what is wrong with this picture?
It's an improper draw offer. He's supposed to move first, offer the draw and then press his clock. I know this rule. I'm a Senior TD. I have the experience qualifications to become an Associate National TD, but I don't have the time or energy to take the test. But some how in the heat of a chess game that I don't want to lose, all my rules knowledge goes to right out the window. I stupidly agree to a draw without making him move first and decide based on where he moves whether I still want the draw. It was as if I had made the offer on that move and he accepted.
In the last paragraph you will notice the phrase, chess game that I don't want to lose. It doesn't say a chess game that I wanted to win. That choice of wording tells all you need to know about my mental outlook on the game. I would be satisfied with not losing, instead of going for his throat and trying to win. I think was dwelling to much on this game of ours from September.
I almost had the feeling that he knew that he had conned me with his "draw offer". He wasn't so anxious to talk about my possibilities in the position. When I mentioned that perhaps I had winning chances he brushed me off with "maybe." After I left the club and was walking to the subway station I started thinking about the position and realized that I had winning chances, and shouldn't have taken the draw. On the train ride home I got out my Mon Roi and analysed the position. Depending on where he moves the king, I can give another check, trade the rook on a1 for the c1 rook and then capture the pawn on either f2 or g4. He may pick off my a pawn, but I'll get another one of his king side pawns and then push through. It's not easy but it's doable, especially with the time edge.
This was just another one of those games where I let feelings get in the way of objective analysis. If I could simply separate who I was playing and the circumstances I would have been able to work it out, and not jump on the draw after winning the pawn. Sigh. Will I ever learn?