Sunday, August 19, 2007

Signs You're Having a Bad Tournament

Years ago I wrote up a list of signs that you're having a bad US Open. I couldn't remember all as was giving them to Jerry Hanken for his Hanken's Corner for the final US Open Bulletin. I gave him 5 of them, but started remembering others after I got back to New York. I also came up with few new ones to reflect new technology.

10. Your games keep getting put in the bulletin under "Humor".

9. Your board assignment is in a broom closet on another floor of the hotel.

8. The hotel moves you into a sleeping room on the first floor, requires you to leave your belt, and shoe laces in the hotel safe.

7. At 8:00 PM your opponent tells you it's past his bedtime and announces mate in 4.

6. You lose to the bye.

5. When you ask the TD why your weren't paired for the next round he says "We assumed you wanted to drop out."

4. The only one willing to play a filler game with you is Cricket, Carol Jarecki's dog and she beats you by sac'ing her queen for a doggy treat.

3. Your spouse and children join the witness protection program.

2. The pairing program crashes when trying to come up with someone you haven't lost to yet.

And the number 1 signs you're having a bad tournament.......

The USCF office decides your rating floor needs to be dropped immediately.
Mon Roi pays you NOT to use their product anymore.
Your line on the wall chart indicates you castled long 3 times.

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